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From The Desk Of The President


 To: Whoever Is In Charge, Food and Drug Adminstration
 

I understand that China has executed its former Food and Drug Administration commissioner for accepting bribes in exchange for approving untested medication, a scenario which caused the deaths of ten people.

I just wanted to let you know that I like that idea.

Keep your powder dry,

The President
Posted by Mr President at 8:12 AM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 To: Speechwriting Staff
 

The speech you gave me for this week is unusable. Sunni Muslims are not happy Muslims, they are Muslims who happen to belong to a certain political party or philosophy. I suggest next time you go to the liquor store to drink your lunches and play keno that you look at the wire rack near the front door and you may find what are commonly referred to as "newspapers." They may have some information on this very topic.

But probably not accurate information. How about you just whip up another one of those stay-the-course deals and we'll deal with the Sunni Muslims later.

Have a Sunni Afternoon, You Shiite-heads,

-P
Posted by Mr President at 1:30 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 To: Sen. Trent Lott, R-MS
 

It's the Lebanese Parliament that is supporting Hezbollah, not the Lesbian Parliament.

It's really amazing what gets your attention.

-P
Posted by Mr President at 12:40 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 To: Michael Haynes, Director, CIA
 

No, Condi Rice and Uncle Ben are not related. "Rice" is not Uncle Ben's last name.

-P
Posted by Mr President at 12:36 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 To: Fidel Castro
 

Viva Raul!

Signed,

The President
Posted by Mr President at 12:22 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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