Okay, explain this to me again. You did what?

-P

Thank you so much for taking the day off this past Monday -- traffic has never been easier. You have my blessings to protest every day.

By the way, we don't need a "Day Without Immigrants," we need a "Day Without Illegal Immigrants," a subtle distinction that you all continually neglect to pick up on. Perhaps you people are the true racists.

Let me also note that it is the illegal immigrants who have helped overwhelm and close down our hospitals and health care centers, overloaded our municipal resources, and delayed the arrival of immigrant-hopefuls who attempt to enter our country legally. Let me not understate the role of our politicians and big-business industry morons who have contributed to creating an undocumented, untaxed, and arrogant underclass who, rather than stay and improve their own countries, insist on putting their own personal desires before the needs of this country.

On the other hand, thanks to you and your cheap labor, we can buy three t-shirts for ten dollars, but I already have a tailor. He's Italian. And a legal immigrant. And he understands english.

As soon as we can afford the jet fuel, I'm looking forward to sending you all home.

Signed,

The President

Hey, I've got to hand it to you, tossing CNN out of your country for mistranslating your crap is pretty genius. I wish I could do the same thing here.

By the way, I told Jewsama, I'll tell you, if you're going to threaten us, do it in English.

Signed,

The President

Personally, I think "Jewsama" Bin Laden would be a great harassment technique, but I don't know how practical it would really be politically.

Then again, do I really care?

-P

I don't remember you ever saying "Screw Europe and let's negotiate directly with Iran ourselves." What is your problem now?

Thanks for helping out in our national discourse of important issues, like, after the fact.

Signed,

The President

P.S. You're not a New Yorker.