What do you mean "how much worse can it get"?

-P

I notice that after a break in the hearings today that two of the three buttons on your shirt cuff were unbuttoned or misbuttoned.

I'm not going to even ask.

Signed,

The President

Please, Dick, let's just say goodbye and say that you have done wonders for New Year's Eve, television, pop music, and Times Square. You have had an amazing career and countless artists and entertainers owe their lives to you, though most will never acknowledge it until after you're dead. You are without a doubt a legendary American.

I don't know that I can watch you again next year.

Regardless, Happy New Year.

Fondly,

The President

Holy (expletive deleted)! Tomorrow is Friday the 13th. Should we close the offices?

I gotta get outta here.

-P

Oh, I get it. Ariel Sharon's stroke is punishment for Israel's withdrawal from Gaza, and you stand by that comment until Israel refuses to do business with you. Now you're sorry.

$.

Signed,

The President