Ted, you mick blowhard, shut the hell up.

If you took everything Judge Samuel Alito has ever done wrong or inappropriate in his life, I would venture to guess that he has never left a woman to drown in a vehicle that he had driven into a body of water. On that point, you are definitely one-up on Sam.

As far as Judge Alito's perceived tendencies to stifle personal and civil rights, you might ask Mary Jo Kopechne what her opinion as an American is.

The fact that you haven't been shot indicates how really impotent a Kennedy you are.

I do envy your full head of hair.

Sincerely,

The President

Jeez, what a week. The Pontiac is leaking oil like a sieve and I don't have time to put in another oil filter housing, assuming the one I got on e-bay doesn't fit. I finally put the money down on the used Honda engine but that's going to take a while because the pilot bearing has to be installed to make the motor compatible with the 5-speed tranny. That and of course the fact that everyone is busy either fighting or eavesdropping. This place is out of control.

Speaking of out of control, Ted Kennedy is on tv. I have to go.

-P

P.S. Hey, get a haircut, you hippie.

The new intern just asked me why the senators might be asking Judge Sam Alito about "Certs and Caesar."

What time can the new intern be here?

Signed,

The President

All right, back to the grind. Have I won the lottery yet?

Hey, I heard you went to the hospital this morning. Did they torture you there? If you're still there or go back, get me some morphine and codeine. Sam Alito's confirmation hearings start today. Oy.

Ok. Get back to work.

-P

Well, so you lose your football winning streak and the national championship in the last 19 seconds of the Rose Bowl.

It seems fitting for the college of people from the Nixon Administration, George Lucas, and all the best phonies and crooks in the world.

Ha ha, ha ha, ha,

The President