So, you reached a deal where you ding Dupont $10 mil in fines and $6 mil in useless environmental studies because they withheld information regarding their Teflon chemical manufacturing.

Dupont, as in the good people who brought us Bhopal. They're only a $25 billion company, so nice deterrent for ever doing that again.

You guys are clowns.

Signed,

The President

Right when you take your boot off their neck, now Ford has announced it is advertising in gay publications again.

So, is the big boycott back on again?

Signed,

The President

Well in a stunning reversal, you have now decided to reinstate your advertising in gay publications.

"It is my hope that this will remove any ambiguity about Ford's desire to advertise to all important audiences and put this particular issue to rest," wrote Joe Laymon, Ford's group vice president for corporate human resources.

Um, no, it doesn't. But thanks for hoping.

Sincerely,

The President

Ray, not good. Saw you at the Katrina committee hearings today.

You couldn't commandeer the school buses because the school district is a different entity?

That's just one of a basketful of gems I heard from you today. I'm going to send you and your governor a whole lot of coal this Christmas to light a fire under your asses and get something done down there.

By the way, Mrs. Jackson in the 9th Ward still has a body in her tree, if you guys could get to taking care of that please.

Signed,

The President

Right. Torture is bad. Got it.

-P