Nice job dropping that indictment on the al qaeda kid; I guess I played that about as long as I could. By the way, you looked real steely at your press conference, kind of like Jack Lord in "Hawaii Five-O."

So explain to me why a male teacher who gets it on with a student is a monster and is sentenced to years in prison while a female teacher who does same gets some probation or counseling?

-P

P.S. Let me tell you, if a hottie teacher of mine invited me to roll around the backseat of the car, you better believe I'd be out there.

P.P.S. It's rather funny that the snake offered the apple to Eve and students bring apples to their teachers.

This is exactly what I was talking to you about.

Last Thursday I placed an order with Amazon.com for a small $13 space heater for the workshop. First they told me it would be delivered in three days, then it was two weeks. Yesterday I go to the post office and I have three boxes from them. They sent me three of the same heater! When I get back to the office, sure enough there's an email from Amazon saying they made a mistake, duplicating my order, and they will send shipping labels for me to return the extra pair. On top of that they are sending me a $5 gift certificate for the trouble.

Now that's how you do business. The $5 really is nothing, won't even cover shipping for anything, but the fact that they sent me labels to cover their error, plus a small token for my next purchase, for a mistake that benefited me, is what makes me willing to shop from them again.

You idiots, however, play it like I'm lucky that you don't charge me a restocking fee plus the shipping I have to pay to return to you your mistake, or misplacing a few grand in somebody else's account is not that big of a deal.

Some people are getting it right, some people aren't. You are the aren't.

Sincerely,

The President

I heard that everyone had fun yesterday, and I saw that as well. You better call Facilities and have them get the gravy and cranberry sauce out of the carpet.

You know, I try to avoid it every year, the stupid office Day-Before-Thanksgiving pot-luck where everyone brings a dish and they all yuk around for a couple of hours and waste a lot of time. Personally I don't see the point of hanging around at work any longer than I have to with people who would knife you in the back for a measly Level G-6 pay increase, or at the very least, are incredibly annoying. On top of that, then you have the people who don't want a Thanksgiving meal the day before the Thanksgiving meal, and then that pisses off the people who want the traditional turkey and stuffing plate for every meal around Thanksgiving, and it just turns into a big mess when four people show up with green bean casserole. The thing that grinds my goat is people who show up with styrofoam plates or plastic forks and think that counts as bringing something so they can eat everybody else's food. What a stone drag.

Donna's peanut butter squares kick ass and I really love Joanne's apple cobbler, and Ray from the White House motorpool deep-fries a real mean turkey, but I can get those from them anytime of year with a Presidential order. Actually, Presidential Order 05-112417 does exactly that and I should be getting my food by Friday.

Anyway, I'm flying back from Iraq where I served beer and turkey for our boys and girls there and now I'm on my way to New Orleans to dish up some gumbo and see what the locals have to say. I'm wearing my Grizzly Adams disguise so nobody will recognize me, so don't tell Gary in Press Relations because he'll blow the whole thing.

I put your Thanksgiving meal in your inbox. Enjoy.

-P

Seeing that today is Thanksgiving, why don't you all knock off at around 1:00 and go home. Have a nice day.

Not too nice. Work starts at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Sober. All of you.

Signed,

The President

Congratulations to the winner of this year's "What's The 'I' In "I. Lewis Libby Stand For?" contest.

First of all, I'd like to commend those who participated and you will all receive a President's pen just for playing.

Some entries that did not win but did deserve mention here:

-- "Indictment" Lewis Libby -- Carol Wilson, Legal Affairs
-- "Ight" Lewis Libby -- Chuck Franklin, Urban Outreach
-- "I For An I" Lewis Libby -- Russ Donaldson, Air Force One
-- "I'm" Lewis Libby -- Kendra Rodriguez, Map Division
-- "Ice" Lewis Libby -- "Hot Toddy" Rossell, Sales

This years's winner of the Missouri Thanksgiving Turkey is:

Janet Plimsoul in the Linen Archives Department
for
"Imogene" Lewis Libby

Congratulations, Janet, you can go to Missouri and pick up your turkey anytime today between 9 and 6 pm (central time). Don't forget to clock out.

Thanks again, everyone!

Signed,

The President