Hey, I hope you don't mind but I sort of gave Brownie a little incentive to get his ass out of the office. I told him I was going to pay him cash and start marking each bill with the FBI pen Mueller gave me so the press could track where he was spending his money. You better believe he finished up quick.

By the way, have I ever really thanked you for keeping him on salary after his resignation? Why don't you come by tomorrow and I'll better explain what exactly it has meant to me and how much I really appreciate it.

Signed,

The President

Would you please make a stop by my office as soon as it is convenient? I'm watching the U.S. oil ministers testify before the Senate committee members and I think I'm going to bust a blood vessel soon.

Bring everything.

Thanks,

-P

I'm listening to your air-raid siren voice at the joint Senate committee hearings with the oil company executives.

If your problem with these guys is that they're making too much money by excessively high gasoline prices, why are you asking them to donate their massive proceeds to charity? What exactly does that solve in the marketplace? On top of that, charity usually only reaches the lower class who often have no vehicle and not the middle class who are truly getting screwed.

This is a long hearing so I'm sure you'll be hearing from me again, you ninny.

Signed,

The President

P.S. You kind of remind me of Judge Judy, except you are not funny and not as serious.

Oh, man, I'm catching up on the Senate hearings with the oil company execs today. What a mess.

When Humvees and oil companies meet, this is what you get.

Back to the sweet and sour chicken.

-P

You know, it's rainy days like these that make me want to stay in bed and eat chinese food, and a coffee and Bailey's for dessert wouldn't hurt.

Since you did such a great job running the office while I was gone, why don't you go ahead and do that again today. I'll check in later if I feel like it.

Thanks.

-P