I saw you testify at the House today.

You are the master of the non-answer. I will miss your gobbledy-gook and your evasive style. I will forever wonder after your retirement what the hell you were saying. If only Casey Stengel were still alive to translate.

Adios and Whatever,

The President

Hey, you know, I think I've had enough of this week, so you're in charge tomorrow. With the time change, stupid Halloween, this (expletive deleted) Supreme Court (expletive deleted), I've just about had enough. So I'm forwarding my cell phone to your desk.

Have fun.

-P

Have you checked out this judge they want to remove in southern Utah because he has three wives? It's bad enough dealing with the possibility that your judge had a bad night with the missus the evening before, but with three wives, your chances of a grumpy judge are tripled. I'd hate to take a speeding ticket to that court.

On the other hand, he claims that polygamy hasn't affected his official duties, which seems to be a sound judicial judgement, since the state attorney general and the county magistrate have declined to prosecute. Besides, there hasn't been a day that I haven't been glazed at work, and it hasn't affected my performance either, so it must be okay.

Maybe we should move the White House to Aruba or Liberia so we won't be burdened by all these pesky laws on the books and we can all quit paying taxes.

-P

Joe, what the hell is George Steinbrenner putting in the water out there? The guy is a grade A number one (expletive deleted) and yet not only do you stay on to continue working with him, but general manager Brian Cashman re-signs and Lee Mazzili is now back with the Yankees.

Whatever he's using on you lugs, I want delivered here to the White House.

Regards,

The President

Didn't Al Sharpton mouthpiece for Tawana Brawley in 1987 when she falsely claimed she was the victim of a racial attack? And didn't a grand jury deny her claim and find him liable for defamation? And has he done nothing else of note except numerous television appearances and a half-assed campaign for president?

Which makes his appearance at Rosa Parks' funeral truly and morally nauseating.

-P