Front of the bus, baby.

Rest Well,

The President

I'm not sure I get this. Why do I appoint a head of the Federal Reserve when the Federal Reserve is not a government institution in any way?

Of course, you realize JFK was killed not long after he had ordered the printing of the United States Note, currency not under the control of the Federal Reserve. The Federal Reserve stood to lose a lot of money in interest payments once the U.S. got into debt with the Vietnam war, but LBJ killed the United States Note the day after JFK's assassination.

Not that this means anything. It's all just coincidence.

-P

P.S. Okay, so who is Ben Bernanke?

Sorry for all the damage your touristy towns have suffered because of Hurricane Wilma, and of course for any lives lost and injured and displaced parties.

If you need any help at all I'd be happy to send some undocumented workers across your border.

Signed,

The President

P.S. Our black population says good luck.

The old "bomb in the cement truck" trick.

-P

P.S. You better check the snack trucks too.

You know what's going to really help people get evacuated from a hurricane in a hurry is if they see one of those idiot television news reporters get impaled by a 2 x 4 while they're out there or get smacked over the head by a freeway sign during a wind gust.

See if you can get some footage like that.

-P