I'm watching C-SPAN2's rebroadcast of you testifying at the Senate hearing for immigration reform. I can't figure out what the hell you are saying.

I can't believe I hired you. That is the last time I draw names from a hat.

The President

P.S. Magic 8 Ball was right about you. And Brownie.

Ted, settle down. The announcement made was "the demolition of that Massachusetts dam," not the demolition of "that dam Massachusetts."

Believe me, Ted, you most certainly would have to be included in any plans for destruction of your home state.

Down The Hatch,

The President

Hey - you never paid me for those two beers in the seventh inning. I'll collect on that tomorrow.

-P

I was listening to Joe Morgan and Jon Miller doing radio play-by-play of the World Series for ESPN. I like Joe Morgan and he writes some good articles for ESPN, but what I don't understand is that Jon Miller gets so giddy and weird when he's paired up with somebody, but when he does the San Francisco Giants games on the radio solo he's actually almost pretty good. I just don't get that. I'm also not sure what to think of the name "John" without the "h," but I guess it's not a big deal.

Anyhoo, did you get the "gimme" letter from the U.N. looking for more "charitable aid" money? I keep telling them to take me off their mailing lists but that never helps. Sometimes I'll send back their postage-paid return envelopes empty, and then sometimes I'll actually write them a big fat check and not sign it. What a burn! I hate them.

Late,

-P

Listen, Tiger, I'm sorry about you missing the cut today.

But I've seen your wife and I don't know how you leave the house, nevermind play a round of golf.

Regards,

The President