I saw you on Donny Deutsch's show. He really is a twerp.

You rock.

The President

I saw your perky little self on C-Span2 with the House hearings and you did a great job, though you were sitting next to Chertoff, so you could have shown up drunk and still sounded brilliant compared to him.

My favorite part though was your Texas hair. I really dig it. You look like a cotton blossom ready for the picking.

We have to go out and get you a hat, darlin', and make you really Texas.

Adios,

El Presidente

I thought the open airwaves were free. Why are you in such a rush to get consumer tv signals digitalized and off analog?

Oh, wait, I think I hear a cash register somewhere...yes, it is, it's wireless companies and the manufacturers of emergency communications equipment making a profit.

By the way, a tip of the hat to Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) for trying to extend the deadline to 2009 so people could watch the NCAA college basketball championships. Ka-ching!

Sincerely,

The President

cc: U.S. Senate

Bill, what's going on with you? Your face is all drawn and thinner and you look like your lazy eye is getting worse. Are you under a lot of stress? Sometimes working a lot can cause a lot of stress, or money problems can do the same. Often lying can cause mental stress that turns into physical stress.

Really, Bill, who am I to tell you this, you're a doctor, I'm not. I just wanted to check in and see if maybe you needed another make-up girl.

The President

I'm watching Rep. Ted Poe from Texas. He's making a lot of sense today talking about the Mexican border and national security. Is he always like that?

I'm going to go down and see him this weekend. In his speech he invited all the ignorant northeasterners to get off their asses and look at the lawlessness of Nuevo Laredo, and I figured since it's so rainy here and I need new boots anyway I thought I'd go. Hopefully I can grab some nice Nocona's and Lucchese's.

Oh, look, the House has adjourned until Monday. Is this now a three-day weekend?

Ok, I guess I'll see you on Monday.

-P